Male or female – it doesn’t matter – even as Christians we describe ourselves as doers or thinkers. We sit at the feet of Jesus, or we feed and care for him in his children. We’re good at the practical stuff or we’re more at ease with the leading and preaching. And if we don’t put ourselves in boxes, have no fear – other people will.

In the story of Mary and Martha in Luke the focus is on the dynamics of the two sisters and of Jesus. What jumps out at you from the passage? For me, first of all, it’s the homeliness and the familiarity of the siblings with Jesus – they are friends, real friends of his. it’s a domestic scene. Jesus is so pursued and persecuted, so got at, but here he is at home. Surrounded by those who love him. Relaxed. Fed. Loved. Adored.

The sisters and their brother Lazarus live in the town of Bethany just a couple of miles east of Jerusalem.  What I’ve recently discovered is that it’s likely these three siblings were quite young and orphans. There is no mention of parents; Lazarus is the home owner and the protector of his sisters. But it’s Martha who invites Jesus and His disciples into her home. And it is her home. There was no “calling ahead”, we’re on our way, put the kettle on, – they just turn up.

It was dangerous to associate too closely with Jesus – he was a wanted man. But Martha was willing to face the consequences and let everyone know of her devotion to Him. Don’t underestimate Martha. We often do.

While Jesus was teaching and speaking to the gathered group, including Mary, Martha was busy making sure her guests were comfortable and well fed. But Mary was sitting “at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.”

And so we get this wonderful image of Martha having a bit of a strop. It takes a lot of nerve to get snappy with the Messiah when he’s siding with your annoying and spoiled little sister, but Martha gives it a shot! Hot and tired from cooking for so many, she goes to jesus and says, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?  Tell her to help me!” 

She didn’t ask Jesus his opinion, she told him what to do!  Tell her to help me!

But he explains that, in this instance, Mary has chosen the better path – to sit, to listen, to learn. The pots and pans will still be there when Jesus is gone. They will. There will be other times to deal with the practicalities of life. Not now Martha. Not now.

This story is not about Jesus preferring Mary’s temperament or gifts over Martha’s, but it’s about timing. Discerning the right response at the right time. Mary has discerned correctly that she needs to be with Jesus.

Sometimes we’re not naturally a Mary, no way, but we have that quiet, contemplative life thrust upon us.  We have no choice – some of us who would love to be more active are forced into inactivity by age or ill health or circumstances; we have to sit and to be; to them I say, remember Mary; in a particular time, she chose what Jesus called the better way. It’s ok to sit and be. More than ok.

So we may hear ourselves saying, I used to run the toddler group, I used to do this or that, if only I still could. Sometimes we need to remember every part of Christ’s body is equally of value. And to sit and to be, especially if you have the gift of prayer, to be able to support and encourage with your heart and mind, if no longer your body, well, that’s a tremendous gift to the rest of us. In the words of John Milton, who found himself going blind and lost his capacity for action, ‘they also serve who only stand and wait’.

Similarly, there will be those among us who would love the time and space to pray more, read more, reflect more, learn more. But like Martha, in the kitchen, we are too busy. We think Martha chose to be busy but that’s simplistic – she may have done, it may have spoken to her gifts and inclinations, but Jesus did need feeding. Mary didn’t do much, so Martha had to do more. One person’s freedom is always, always, another person’s responsibility.

I don’t often play the violin for single parents – perhaps I should but I’ve been there and people don’t realise how hard it is – being the one who works and pays the mortgage or rent, buys and cooks the food, attends the parents’ evenings and helps with the homework, cleans, and plays, and worries, and nurses.  And if the garden gets overgrown while you’re doing absolutely everything else, well, it’s not because you’re truly knackered all the time, but because you’re a feckless single mum. In a single parent family someone has to keep all the balls in the air, keep things going. If you don’t feed the visitor, well no one else will.  Time to sit and pray and listen. If only. Some of us have no choice but to be Martha.

Ideally there’s a balance – forget binaries – none of us are really one or the other – Mary or Martha. Choosing the right way or choosing the wrong way. Jesus was asking Martha to discern what was needed then – maybe the first century equivalent of a sandwich and a cuppa would have done!

We all know that balance in us, and we all need it. But sometimes it gets out of kilter. If you find yourself thinking, ‘I’m a Martha’ – I’m a doer – well that’s great, and it needs honouring, but what about the Mary in you? How do you nurture your prayer life, your quiet time? Do you get the chance to just sit in church or anywhere – to just sit and be?

And if you’re naturally a Mary, again good on you, wanting to sit at the feet of Jesus and nothing more, wanting space and quiet and time to think and to be fed, but you might benefit and grow from taking on some active role in church occasionally. Not only that – you’ll give the Martha in those around you a chance to sit and to be too. Again, one person’s freedom is another person’s responsibility – that is the cry of every Martha down the ages.

I guess the key is to recognise our inclinations and then to keep striving for some kind of balance and discernment.  The story of Mary and Martha shows us two women whom Jesus loved dearly and who both loved him.  They were very different – but they were both courageous, both faithful. Human beings are complex, But who dominates in you at this point in your journey – Mary or Martha? And is that right for you, right now? And how will you nurture the other sister (or brother) in you?

Amos 8: 1-12 NIV – A Basket of Ripe Fruit – This is what – Bible Gateway

Luke 10:38-42 NIV – At the Home of Martha and Mary – As – Bible Gateway